Rex Ryan’s movie roles

Ok, so this is Chief’s first submission to the Jam. I wish it was under better circumstances after that garbage loss to the Jets last night, but one play (or ridiculous call/rule) doesn’t make a game.  We should have put them away multiple times before that, jesus it sucks losing to Geno Smith and Rex Ryan.  Amazing they treat a week 7 game like the Super Bowl and will probably be watching all the playoffs from a landfill near Metlife Stadium. Maybe the Jam can sponsor some Pat’s Belichick hoodies for them to wear when we win the Super Bowl in their stadium this year?

Anyways, I was thinking, given Rex Ryan’s new debut performance in Adam Sandler’s 2011 movie “Just Go With It”(Jennifer Aniston and Brooklyn Decker in bikinis), I was thinking there a few more film roles Rex would fit perfectly:

The Albino from the Princess Bride:

If they ever do a remake of the Princess Bride, he would be a perfect “albino” in the Pit of Despair.  Loose fitting clothing, dark lighting so you can barely see his face, a hole in the ground similar to New Jersey, and bad hygiene, all of it screams Rex Ryan.

The Revolting Blob from Billy Madison:

This is a lay-up for so many reasons. First, once you are in an Adam Sandler movie, you are in every single one he makes from that point on.  Second, you put that mask on Rex Ryan and it is basically a perfect match. Rex will play the role of former Principal Max Anderson and his tale-spin into wrestling depression after his education career goes up in flames. Finishing move: Having Mark Sanchez run into the ring to head-butt his opponent in the ass.

blob

Lastly, Francis from Pee Wee’s Great Adventure:

100% perfect fit for Rex.  An inferior character always wanting something he can’t have and continuously trying to steal the spotlight from Pee Wee. Sounds pretty familiar to our little AFC East scenario.

That’s it Jammers. Who do you think Rex could play? Chief, out.

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