It has been reported that Addidas will offer future Kansas Jayhawk basketball star Andrew Wiggins a $180 million contract when he decides to leave for the NBA. Many young famous athletes have been targeted by these big sports merchandising firms to attract future business. My question is if an 18 year old knows that he is going to be offered that absurd amount of money right after the 2014 NBA draft, why even go to college? He could easily go play in Europe and collect his paycheck. Anyways, in order to be eligible for basketball the NCAA requires all athletes to take classes. Here is a possible freshman year class schedule for Mr. Wiggins.
1) Monday, Wednesday 8:30-11:30: Interior Design
We all know that a high talented baller has to have a sick pad. Why not learn how to decorate it yourself? In this class Andrew Wiggins will learn from the best when he watches every episode of “MTV Cribs” to find out the great taste that celebrities have in unnecessary luxuries.
2) Tuesday, 9:00-12:00: Seminar- Easy Ways to Destroy Your Public Image
This class personally investigates the history of dumb professional athletes. Off the court problems have destroyed head coaches’ game plans. Andrew Wiggins will learn how not to act in a public setting. This class will teach him how not to shoot himself in the food (Plaxico 101).
We all know that NBA players are extremely rich, gaudy individuals. That is why its important for them to look their best for post game interviews. Instead they decide to dress as a modern day Urkle, but hey its kewl now! America used to make fun of Urkle on a weekly basis, but now that NBA players stole his wardrobe dressing as a nerd has never been hotter.
4) Wednesday, Friday 1:30-3:30-Burning Dog Poo & The Human Response
We all know that if this was really a class, Billy Madison would be the professor. Lets be honest Andrew Wiggins isn’t really going to class. Instead of a student-athlete he is an athlete with a transcript, sort of. Either way Andrew Wiggins should make college basketball fun to watch, he is after all the $180 million dollar man.