Old Man Basketball League Chronicles: Game One

The Office

Another Wednesday rolls around and another beginning to a coed adult basketball league. What do I expect after not running for more than a year?

Pain. Many missed reversed layups. And probably the runs.

And yes, all of that did happen tonight as I sit in my bed with two pairs of socks on and a grey champion sweat suit.

Highlights from the night:

– Arrived to the gym 15 minutes after tip off to a team that I only knew one player. It’s tough jumping into a game before meeting all of your teammates. You have zero time to judge them in your head.

– First five minutes felt like a breeze after knocking down a mid range jumper. Seconds later it felt like I swallowed a 2 liter Sprite as my throat and lungs began to burn like the Dickens.

– The point guard subs out so I take over the ball handling duties. Due to my late arrival and lack of knowledge about my teammates, I hurl a pass downcourt to a man named Glen shouting out his name before the ball arrives. Apparently his name was Matt. The ball bounced outside onto the street through an open gym door.

– With about 7 minutes left I realize I can’t see because I’m so winded but also realize I can’t sub out because I arrived 15 minutes late. I consider taking a knee at mid court but pull back to save face in front of strangers.

– During halftime I joke around about how out of shape I am.  At the same time I try to get across to my stranger teammates that I’m really really hurting.  They fake laugh and tell me to start the second half.  Bullshit.

– My one steal of the game could have resulted in a clear path easy bucket but due to my ass cramps I pull up and mouth the words “slow it down, slow it down”.

– Apparently we lost by 16 but I had no idea what the score was at any point.  Probably should have stretched better.

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