Things I watched to avoid the Patriots highlights

Pats Bengals

Yep.  The ol’ Boston Jam is back.

It’s been a while since the last post (about 17 months) but after big layoffs and laziness, we decided to fire up the stove again to provide you with THE best mediocre blog writing around.

And in a perfect segue…

I didn’t watch a single highlight of the Patriots game from Sunday.  Nope.  Nothing.

Instead, to take my mind off of the slop of a performance I watched anything and everything that didn’t involve football or Tom Brady.  Sure it was nice to see the defense only allow one touchdown but the Pats offense was tough.  Real tough.  Fact of the matter is that if they got in the end zone once, 5-0 would be a real possibility.

But it’s not now and no longer for the season.  So I watched this crap all day to avoid seeing Pacman Jones pick off Brady over and over to win the game:

Kathie Lee & Hoda

Kathie-Lee-Hoda

This was not deliberate.  While ironing my shirt I blindly turned the TV on and landed on The Today Show with Kathie Lee & Hoda.  And my god, can these woman drink.  I’m not quite sure what they even talk about or who in their right mind gave this segment the green-light but these two could drink me under the table without even blinking an eye.  I mean the wine glasses they have are as big as 22 oz. vases.  I have no idea what the appeal is to these two but I’m positive it ends with them passed out on sofas in their powder rooms by 11:00 AM.  What a job.

War Horse

war horseAgain not deliberate but I landed on this movie for about 80 seconds too long after reading the movie info –

“A farmer’s son forms a close bond with a horse he trains, but is forced to give the animal up when it is sold to the British army during the First World War”

Spoiler alert the horse escapes and starts a very successful dry cleaning business in Tampa.  Thats how I would have ended the movie.  I would spit on it if I had a copy in my apartment.

How I Met Your Mother re-runs

A lot of people try to push this show on me but it’s just not good.  Turn down the laugh track and get rid of the really unfunny girl from American Pie.  Bob Saget dominates the show without ever being seen.

Celtics Pre-Season

kelly

Bad thing to watch if you are trying to avoid sports depression.  Holy shit is it going to be a bad year.  I just can’t bring myself to root for someone like Gerald Wallace.  I just can’t.  The rookie Kelly Olynyk didn’t look bad I guess….

And thats my TV day in a nutshell.  Next time the Pats lose follow this TV schedule and it will enlighten you to a world of drunk morning hosts, a boy’s odd obsession with his horse, an unfunny sitcom that continues to pump out seasons, and a basketball team that won’t be bad enough to win the lottery.  No brainer.

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