Valentines Day is always a tough one at the Jam Headquarters. This is our second Valentines Day together and this is how it went down.
6:45am – I (Mr. MBA) roll into the HQs. I play Words With Friends, check my stocks and my fantasy hockey squad, and wait for Moose to come in.
9:58am – Moose enters with a bottle of Manischewitz Wine and a prosciutto sandwich. Literally one slice of prosciutto in between two slices of stale wheat bread.
10:14am – Moose is already half way through his wine. Pretty sure there is 0% alcohol in this stuff, but he seems quite drunk.
10:26am – Moose begins to shove this awful sandwich in his face.
11:19am – Kooz walks in. Kooz says what’s up to me and Moose. I say “Yo.” Moose intentionally spills some wine on the floor and never answers the question.
11:21am – Kooz’ girlfriend walks in, sees Moose’s face covered in purple wine, shakes her head, grabs Kooz. Kooz and Mrs. Kooz leave.
12:02pm – Moose’s girlfriend walks in, Moose again spills a little wine. She immediately turns around and leaves. Pretty sure Moose had no idea it is Valentine’s Day.
12:32pm – Scal calls the hotline. I answer. He tells me he is sick and won’t be in today. Scal hasn’t been in since July.
12:54pm – Moose throws up Proscuito and grape wine all over himself. As he does so, Mrs. MBA walks in. She is not happy with Moose’s actions. We leave for a Valentine’s Day lunch. I am a gentleman and a scholar. At lunch she tells me I need to find a real job and that this Moose guy is no good.
1:51pm – I return. Moose is passed out on the floor. The wine bottle is empty. Schif aka Schiffy the kid aka Spoked C aka Schif Money Millionaire has apparently entered and already left, all while I was gone. How do I know this? Moose has magic marker words written all over his face. Looks like a seat in a school bus. Classic Schif.
1:56pm – I leave.
11:43pm – Moose calls me from the Jam Headquarters. Asks me who drank his wine. I hang up.
All in all, a pretty good Valentine’s Day. Jam on jammers.