How Valentines Day was spent at the Jam HQs

Valentines Day is always a tough one at the Jam Headquarters. This is our second Valentines Day together and this is how it went down.

6:45am – I (Mr. MBA) roll into the HQs. I play Words With Friends, check my stocks and my fantasy hockey squad, and wait for Moose to come in. 

9:58am – Moose enters with a bottle of Manischewitz Wine and a prosciutto sandwich. Literally one slice of prosciutto in between two slices of stale wheat bread.

10:14am – Moose is already half way through his wine. Pretty sure there is 0% alcohol in this stuff, but he seems quite drunk. 

10:26am – Moose begins to shove this awful sandwich in his face. 

11:19am – Kooz walks in. Kooz says what’s up to me and Moose. I say “Yo.” Moose intentionally spills some wine on the floor and never answers the question. 

11:21am – Kooz’ girlfriend walks in, sees Moose’s face covered in purple wine, shakes her head, grabs Kooz. Kooz and Mrs. Kooz leave. 

12:02pm – Moose’s girlfriend walks in, Moose again spills a little wine. She immediately turns around and leaves. Pretty sure Moose had no idea it is Valentine’s Day.

12:32pm – Scal calls the hotline. I answer. He tells me he is sick and won’t be in today. Scal hasn’t been in since July. 

12:54pm – Moose throws up Proscuito and grape wine all over himself. As he does so, Mrs. MBA walks in. She is not happy with Moose’s actions. We leave for a Valentine’s Day lunch. I am a gentleman and a scholar. At lunch she tells me I need to find a real job and that this Moose guy is no good.

1:51pm – I return. Moose is passed out on the floor. The wine bottle is empty. Schif aka Schiffy the kid aka Spoked C aka Schif Money Millionaire has apparently entered and already left, all while I was gone. How do I know this? Moose has magic marker words written all over his face. Looks like a seat in a school bus. Classic Schif. 

1:56pm –  I leave. 

11:43pm – Moose calls me from the Jam Headquarters. Asks me who drank his wine. I hang up.

All in all, a pretty good Valentine’s Day. Jam on jammers.


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