Christmas Post: Kevin McAllister was best friends with a homeless woman

Christmas TV is great. A bit repetitive, but great. The familiar movies like Home Alone, Home Alone 2, A Christmas Story, Bad Santa, are all on repeat all day long. And from watching these movies year after year, I have noticed some scenes being a bit odd and misplaced. And today while watching Home Alone 2, I noticed a scene that made my toes curl.

Allow me to refresh the memories of the unobservant.

In this scene Kevin McAllister (a ten-year old genius who learns how to survive in NYC while fending off criminals who escaped from prison by designing elaborate plans) is with his family on Christmas morning. While his family is opening up their presents, Kevin realizes that he has found the true meaning of Christmas. Excited, Kevin runs out on his family in order to find a homeless, broken lady covered in pigeon shit that he befriended in the park earlier that week (this storyline is ridiculous when you really break it down). Kevin meets her in the park while she is covered in dozens of pigeons, pigeon shit, and most likely her own feces and urine. Kevin presents a turtle-dove ornament to her, which symbolizes a life long friendship since he has the same replica turtle-dove piece.

So, as a result of this, young Kevin McAllister befriends a senile homeless woman who is absolutely drenched in human and animal feces from head to toe.  Since Kevin is only ten, thus owning an extremely naive mind, he thinks that they will remain friends for ever.  Which couldn’t be farther from the truth because chances are a constantly damp homeless woman (due to the feces and urine) surviving a NY winter is pretty slim.  I don’t mean to be grim on Christmas night, but facts are facts – wet homeless people don’t do well in the Northeast.

The part that makes this scene absolutely mind-blowing too is the fact that Kevin concludes their time together with a hug.  A long, long, hug with a beyond filthy woman.  His face was literally in an old pigeon shit stain, inhaling fecal matter that would remain in the basement of his lungs for months.

The Home Alone series are great, but in the end they have a number of scenes that are baffling.  I wouldn’t have it any other way, but when a ten-year old boy falls for the queen of the homeless, it’s time to stop and really look at what’s happening.

Goddamn turtle doves….

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