So last night after a few rounds of holy water near the local burrito joint, I wandered home to find no sports captivating enough on TV to quench my pallet for entertainment. Sure there was SportsCenter, but with all the talks of child molestation, it was hard to stomach any ounce of information relating to kids being touched by the elderly. I mean, I am a man of the church, I get enough of that on a day to day basis. So I began to fumble around the channels looking for something to watch like a far-sighted human trying to find their glasses. And then, I stumbled across the gem of a show that is “Diamond Wives.”
Bam! Entertainment! A show about money hungry women and their baseball playing husbands that are easily cheating on them within every 4 out of 6 cities they stay in on a month to month basis. A no brainer for TV right? But the more shocking thing I noticed was that a certain star of the show, Jordana Lenz, was claiming she dated an actual athlete.
Now don’t get me wrong, I know athletes will get drunk and make strange one night decisions, but this chick was adamant in the fact that she was once dating a current MLB star. And in all honesty, I get the term different strokes for different folks, but this girl looked like a melted bag of bagged lunch that had been forgotten in a 5th graders back pack that was left out in the Arizona desert for about 3 days straight. Don’t let the photo-shopped pictures fool you, just trust me on this. Intrigued, I did some research.
Turns out, this girl is the former arm candy of a certain Nyjer Morgan. Confusing right? I mean an athlete in his prime, with the ability to take down any creature that roams the earth, decided to not only allow this type of info to go public, but actually once called this female his main squeeze. And I’m not going to sit here and act like I’m god’s gift to the earth when it comes to looks. But lets be honest, Mrs. Lenz is like the girl you wake up to find in your roommates bed in college after a night infused with Jager, red bull, and paint chips. Just not a good look.
Bottom line, I don’t know what’s more embarrassing. Being a girl on this show, or being Nyjer Morgan and having everyone know that your mistress you once kept under wraps for months at a time because she easily squats more than you now openly discussing your love life on national television for all eyes and ears to analyze over.
Ain’t that some shit.