Jon Lester’s comments about drinking rival a high schooler’s

Jon Lester’s comments yesterday about boozing and binge eating during games this season might define who he is as a player. Not the actual act of drinking beer and pounding fried chicken, but the defensive juvenile lying that he put on display yesterday. If I’m not mistaken, he sounded identical to a teenager who was backed into a corner by their parents after getting caught drinking. Look at the striking similarities:

Lester says: “Needed more structure in the clubhouse” A.K.A “The parents weren’t home”
Everyone had the house in high school where the parents just didn’t exist. Every weekend for some reason their parents would just go away and come back in the middle of the work week the following week. And usually, those houses were the most fun. The most fun and the most dangerous. Because there wasn’t any structure or hierarchy in those houses. Anything and everything was considered “OK”. Just like how Lester, Lackey, and Beckett treated the Sox locker room. They did whatever the hell they wanted, because Tito never threw down the iron fist.

Lester says: “We only had one beer” A.K.A “I wasn’t drunk last night”
The classic excuse for a teenager when asked if they were caught drinking. You thought the “one beer” excuse would get you off the hook and cover for your blood shot eyes and your clothes that were absolutely drenched in liquor. Only had one beer= I hope the thing I supposedly made out with last night wasn’t an animal.

Lester says: “Drinking was not detrimental to the team” A.K.A “I’m young it won’t affect me”
The number of educational classes that are thrown at teenagers about the dangers of alcohol is through the roof. But despite constant reminders, teenagers do it anyway with the mentality of “my metabolism will take care of this” or “I’m young, it won’t affect me”. And Lester and co. had/have the same mind set. Drinking four times a week and eating late night munchies won’t affect athletic performance right? Right? I guess not Jon, but ask Beckett and Lackey where the extra 40 pounds of their stomach fat came from.

Lester says: “A lot of teams in the league drink in the club house” AKA- “Everybody is doing it”
This is by far the most comparable excuse to a booze bag teenager. The most common response when getting caught with beer on the breath; “Everyone else is doing it”. Everyone else may have been doing it Jon, but everyone else wasn’t historically blowing a monster lead in the standings.


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