POPchips will provide one lucky fan a “money-can’t-buy” experience to have Big Papi be his or her “wingman” at an upcoming event of their choosing. Snackers can enter to win an outing with Big Papi, whether it’s appearing at a local charity event on their behalf or even helping with some long overdue yardwork — the winner decides. And, of course, Papi will make sure plenty of his favorite snack, POPchips, are on hand.” NESN.com
I might upset some people by saying this but it has to be said. How is this not a corporate form of slavery? The person buying the chips is technically buying David Ortiz for the day, and the fact that they mentioned yard work in the press release is a little puzzling too. So technically, I could buy David Ortiz and make him do work all day. If it smells racist, it is. Thanks POPchips.
But here’s a list of things I would do with Big Papi:
– Go to the gym to see how strong he actually is and if there is any evidence of him still juicing
– Take as many pictures as possible, then post it on Facebook to document it.
– Get him really drunk so he would tell me all the crazy shit he has done throughout his career off of the field. I would write a book about it later on and become a NY Times Best Seller.
– Get him to teach me how to throw a baseball correctly
– Use him as bait for women at a local bar. Chances are more guys than girls would approach us.
– Make him call Manny Ramirez so I could just listen to their inside jokes like a little school boy. I would definitely pretend to laugh at stuff that I had no idea about.
-Yard work, and lots of it.