The Green Bay Packers and the New Orleans Saints kicked off the NFL season last night in a dueling offensive match up. Rodgers looked unreal, Brees looked equally as elite, and BJ Raji added another neck roll to his body. There was questionable play calling by the Saints and ugly Wisconsin women in the stands. A lot was going on last night, but at the end of the game here is what stood out:
Aaron Rodgers will be MVP this year:
Rodgers finished the night with 312 yards, 3 TD Passes, on 27/35 pass attempts. Not bad for a guy who was Brett Favre’s personal towel boy for a few years. Rodgers looks insane. He might be the best quarterback in the league at throwing the under-thrown fade ball to his receivers. His passing is precise, his arm strength is off the charts, and rumor has it he used to bang ESPN’s Erin Andrews. His skills and sex drive are all the tools an NFL MVP needs.
Watch out for Randall Cobb
The rookie had 2 catches for 35 yards and a TD with one insane 109 yard kickoff return for a touchdown. If I didn’t know any better, he looks like a much better version of Bethel Johnson. A much much better version.
Chris Collinsworth wouldn’t be the worst looking woman
Chris Collinsworth was the color commentator last night, and didn’t do the worst job. He actually is pretty solid at what he does, and him and Al Michaels are head and shoulders above the awful Joe Buck and Tim Mccarver combo. But talent aside, Collinsworth looks like a woman. Straight up. If he had earrings, he could be mistaken for a 6’3 lesbian. There’s nothing wrong with being a lesbian, but Collinsworth could definitely do some damage in a heavily gay populated area if he dropped his voice an octive or two. Great announcer, and great looking lesbian.