Jersey Shore/Boston Athlete Mash-Up

Snooki – David Ortiz

The Queen of them all, Nicole “Snooki” Polizzi, runs the Jersey Shore. Just like David Ortiz, she loves the attention and being in the spotlight. Big Papi and Snooki are the cornerstones of their “team,” both overpaid and both overweight…ouch.

Vinny – Kevin Faulk

In many ways Vinny is the Kevin Faulk of the Shore. He is relatively short, usually keeps to himself, and is not extremely important but must be around.

Deena – Glen “Big Baby” Davis

Two absolute sloppy messes are Deena and Big Baby. Both very round and obscene, these two are a perfect match. They are not very important to the grand scheme of things, but are able hang onto the rest of the cast of characters they work with.

Ronnie – Milan Lucic

Lucic and Ronnie are bruisers. Lucic is one of the toughest guys in the NHL and Ronnie is the toughest guy on the beach. One of Ronnie’s victims can be seen on the right. I would not want to get in the middle of a “Rammie” fight.

Sammi – Tim Wakefield

Sammi is the most boring member of the Jersey crew and for all of us who have been to Red Sox games that Tim Wakefield has pitched in then you know boring. Wakefield games go on forever and it is almost as sickening as watching Sammi cry about Ronnie. Just thinking of these two are making me fall asleep.

JWoww – Zdeno Chara

This mash-up is completely based on appearance. JWoww and Chara are monsters. Chara is like seven feet tall and looks like a Slovakian hit man. JWoww also looks like a Slovakian hit man, a Slovakian hit man with huge boobs.

Pauly D – Chad Ochocinco

Clowns. Pauly D and Chad Ochocinco are known for being the jokers around town. They are loud and proud and I don’t know many people who hate these guys. If you had a chance to hang out with any NFL receiver or Jersey Shore member, odds are you are choosing these guys.

The Situation – Kevin Garnett

The Situation and KG run the show. They both tell everyone what to do and aren’t afraid to be assholes. Everyone loves to hate The Situation and Kevin Garnett. Love ’em or hate ’em, they will make you laugh and they will make you cry.

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