Stevie Williams is like…

Stevie Williams did a lot this past weekend.  He bashed Tiger Woods, pushed Adam Scott out of the spotlight, and also took some additional time to do some more Tiger bashing. He broke the unwritten caddy rule and spoke to the press like he was on the red carpet and did his best Tiger fist pump impression when Scott sunk his final putt.  Yep, Stevie really tried to stick it to Tiger this past weekend, and was reminiscent of certain things in life that define revenge.

Stevie Williams is like….

– Your dog you gave up for adoption that sends a post card from the celebrities house that took them in

We’ve all done it.  Giving up a pet dog is no easy task.  But when the thing is full of benign cysts and has a limp, the decision to give it up for adoption becomes that much easier.  So like Tiger did with Williams, you basically leave your dog for dead at an “dog adoption” agency naively thinking that someone might take in your infected dog.  And much to the surprise of yourself (and Tiger), the best new thing in town (Adam Scott) comes along and nurses your dog back to a superior health status.  A gloating post card soon follows.

– Your ex-girlfriend that calls you up at 1am to tell you how unbelievable her sex life is with her new fling:

Breaking up with a girlfriend can be tough.  The thought that she may find something better after you is even worse.  In Tiger’s case, Stevie Williams did find that certain “better” something (for the moment).  Not only did he find that “better something”, but it sounds like things couldn’t be better.  Kind of like how your ex tells you two weeks after the breakup that her sex life is off the charts.  That she is never had anything like it before.  Not that I’m inquiring that Adam Scott and Stevie Williams are banging, but for the sake of the metaphor, just go with it.

– A caddy who thinks he is on the same level as Tiger Woods

I couldn’t think of anymore shitty metaphors, but Stevie Williams is directing all of the negative attention from Tiger Woods onto himself.  Never in the history of golf, has a glorified bag carrier and ball washer received this much attention for getting fired and then re-hired.  Rumor has it that Williams is a scratch golfer and should receive the attention.  Do you know who else is a scratch golfer?  My 55 year old, overweight Jewish accountant.  So that tosses that argument out the window.

I’m not sure if Williams knows where Tiger Woods’ place in society was before his sex adventures.  He was the Don of golf and the most recognizable athlete in sports.  And where was Stevie Williams during all of this?  A no named guy who replaced his divots.  And now he is a guy who replaces divots for someone else but is still riding the fame coat tails of Tiger.  The guy is destroying the sport, and could possibly be setting trends for future caddies to become as vocal and involved in the game as he is.

By the way, T-minus one year until Williams releases a “tell all” book about Tiger and his adultery marathon.

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