Patriots set to sign the most jacked man in football

Free-agent defensive lineman Andre Carter tweeted tonight that he is joining the Patriots.

“I am proud to announce that I will be playing for the New England Patriots for the 2011 season. [Thank] you for your prayers and support,” Carter wrote on @mr_carter99, before adding that it was “time to hit the books; on to my playbook.”

A Patriots spokesman did not confirm the signing tonight, but a league source indicated there is an agreement with the team and Carter”. 

Straight up "prison" jacked

Not to over look how insane the Patriots D-Line will be this year (sorry Mike Wright but get ready to grab some pine)but the New England might have just signed the most visibly, physically fit player in the NFL in Andre Carter.  Not only does he provide speed off the edge, but he also makes an already “dootie stain provoking” D-Line that much more intimidating.  I mean when did the Patriots ever have a guy that looked like this?

For the most part, the ideal Patriot never really blew the “physical appearance” test out of the water (i.e. Danny Woodhead, Tom Brady, Wes Welker..Mike Wright).  But now, Carter is a guy that makes every fan worry about random drug testing.  And to be honest, I don’t hate it.




Oh, forgot to mention.  Andre Carter also hates people who clog his toilets with massive dumps:





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