I noticed the other night while polishing off my third case of O’doul’s that local meteorologist, A.J. Burnett, shares the same exact name as current Yankees pitcher, A.J. Burnett. Now I’m sure many of you Bostonians have also noticed this and have just shrugged it off like it’s no big deal. And after my 15 minute cursing rant was over because I can’t stand the thought of A.J. Burnett (the pitcher), I was on the same page and continued back on with my business of seeing how many O’doul’s it would take someone to get legally drunk. But this morning, I watched another commercial with A.J. Burnett (meteorologist), and it made me ponder as to which person hates their names/life more.
First off, you have A.J. Burnett, the pitcher. To put it nicely, A.J. has been less than stellar since the Yanks signed him to that 5 year, $82.5 million dollar contract. And with a 31-30 overall record in Pinstripes, lets just say he didn’t live up to that Robin role to C.C. Sabathia’s Batman when the two were signed as free agents together. In a not so nice fashion, the guy is an absolute head case. He is tatted-up from head to toe, refuses to work with veteran catcher Jorge Posada, and he is easily to most hated free agent pitcher that the Yankees have signed since that whole Carl Pavano fiasco. And to top it all off, the guy just looks like someone you’d want to punch square in the face because he just spit a nice fat wad of Skoal dip on your new white sneakers. I know it’s not always fair, but when you sign for that kind of money, and don’t live up to the expectations, the city and the fans are in the right to hate you and your bird-like face. Sadly, A.J. knows all of this.
Now we’ve got the weatherman, oh sorry, meteorologist A.J. Burnett. Now I can see where some of you may begin to ask “Hey, Rev, why does this guy have it so bad? He’s got a decent gig, and he seems like a nice guy”. And your right, he does seem like a nice guy, with a nice gig, and great hair. But in reality, when you have the same name as someone famous, and you’re not nearly as famous as them, your life goes as they go. Example: I went to school with a kid who’s last name was Mcgavin. Sure he was a nice, polite, and quiet kid that no one really bothered. But then the movie “Happy Gilmore” came out, and this kids life was never the same. Next thing you know the kid’s constantly having “finger pistols” being made at him all day while the other school children continuously asked him if he ate pieces of sh*t for breakfast. It was a horrific scene that I not only wish I never saw, but also, that I never instigated.
Now back to A.J. Burnett. He lives in Boston, the rival of the Yanks. A.J. Burnett (the pitcher) is by far the more popular of the two, and his reputation as being an absolute nut bag is common knowledge on the streets of the bean. Now you mean to tell me that when A.J. Burnett (meteorologist) introduces himself to people, and they say “oh, you mean like that crazy a-horn pitcher on the Yankees?” that it doesn’t bother him in the slightest bit?