Reverend Knicks Weekly Recap of the Celtics… Status: I’d Like to Buy A Vowel

Well it’s been an interesting couple of weeks in the NBA, but alot of key ingredients have remained the same. Lebron and Cleveland are still showing signs of ill will towards, Melo keeps playing the back-and-fourth game in regards to trade talks like a girl deciding on her Bat Mitzvah dress, and Stan Van is still just, well, fat and flabby. But a few things have taken place in the Northeast region, mainly Boston, MA, which could raise a few eyebrows here and there. What once looked like a team destined for the championship, has now hit somewhat of a speed bump, or at least they hope its just that. Boston is still one of the premier teams in the east, but because of age and injury, a closer examination into this squad exposes that they may be in bigger trouble than previously conceived.

1.) Rebounding is Atrocious

The Celts Currently Rank as the 30th overall team in rebounds. That is a ridiculously low ranking for a team that prides itself in defensive stops and ball possession. There needs to be a resurgence in terms of board numbers if this team wants to have somewhat of a home court advantage in the playoffs. I know the Knicks have no shot at catching them in the East, but as a 3 or 4 seed, I’m not exactly sure if you want to spend the conference finals on the road in two consecutive seasons. Not helping the Celts is the lack of youth and health in their big men. With the combination of these two liabilities, it will be interesting to see how the Celts improve in this stat column.

2) Schedule Glance

The Celts have gone 1-2 in the last three games that they played, including a win against Sacramento, and loses to both Houston and Chicago. I understand the Chicago loss, since this is a team that the Celts could potentially face off in the playoffs down the road, but Houston? That just seems a bit off in my book. A big test for the C’s will come this week, including tonight, as they will face Charlotte this evening, Orlando on Monday, Detroit on Wed., and Utah on Friday. My prediction? The Celts walk away from this with a 2-2 run, with loses to both the Mormans of Utah and The Magic of Orlando with Tiger Woods waiving prenup papers in the crowd at the Garden to Support his beloved franchise.

3) Trades Doubtful

I know the Celts have a solid unit, and a strong sense of team cohesion, but if it comes down to a need to make a trade due to the injuries piling up too high, this team really doesn’t have too many pieces right now to make an in season trade that would bring them any value. I mean, what are you going to do? Trade Harangody? Really, for what, a pack of skittles?

Essentially, its the same old song and dance, the team needs to get healthy. Once they do, it’s a whole new ball game. For now though, lets focus in on the spectacle that will be this Sunday when the Pats face off against the Jets. Personally, I think if the fans of Foxboro were that dedicated and committed to winning, they would all attend the game shoeless and sock less. Nothing would distract a freaky foot-fetish loving feign more than 68756 fans all wiggling their toes in Rex Ryans face. Of course theres always the chance he could pull a Ron Artest and jump into the crowd and just start licking everyones feet like a rabid dog, but that’s a risk you gotta take as a fan sometimes. The balls in your court Pats fans.

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