Snipes Confession: I Lost My Virginity to Oprah. Winfrey.


In the summer of 1996, young Snipes was just like any other young, nine-year old trouble maker. Growing up in the deep south, there wasn't a whole lot to do other than endless games of kick-the-can, capture-the-flag, tickle-wars with Uncle Jeff, and general rabble-rousing. We used to torment my elderly neighbor endlessly. One day, she left a blueberry pie on her window-sill to cool, and I stole it in an act of defiance to my parents and my perverted Uncle (now Aunt) Jeff. The Old Bag of Bones caught me and ratted me out to my parents and they made me go back to her house every day to do chores as penance. She and I became quite close, and she promptly ended my life of juvenile crime and inspired me to be a writer. When I was 16, she forced me to write an essay for a “SPEND A DAY WITH OPRAH!” contest. I wrote about my relationship with the old hag and I won. My neighbor died upon hearing the news.

Read more ยป

About these ads

One thought on “Snipes Confession: I Lost My Virginity to Oprah. Winfrey.”

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s