As the NHL regular season ends, it’s time to take a look back at the worst names to be stitched on the back of their respective jerseys from this year:
5) Jussi Jokinen: How can you make a Jokinen worse? Give him a first name that’s an adjective that implies he’s sexy. “Juicy” Jokinen just seems like a MySpace or a pornstar name. Matter of fact Olli Jokinen’s a pretty stupid name too and we all know how I feel about him.
4) Jordan Tootoo: Jordan Tootoo rocks one of the most blatantly hilarious names in all of sports. To our younger viewers, a tootoo is a “puffy ballet dress” or something like that. I’m trying to think of comparable names but the old witts aren’t what they once were, so no (insert some funny name here).
3) Scott Clemenson: Okay, this isn’t your standard funny name, but this name brings back some bad memories for me. Junior year in high school, our Latin book told a story in short sentences with pictures, and “Clemenson” played the role of the charasmatic chef of the house. Lets just say come June, there was a little bit of a tragedy. Does a volcano by the name of Mt. Vesuvius ring a bell? Yeah. Fossilized. Ruined my summer.
2) Alexander Semin: Since your entrance into the league, people have been puckering their lips with held back laughter and pronouncing your name “seh-min”. Your not fooling me. You my friend, are Alexander Semin. See-mun. THAT IS FUNNY PEOPLE.
1) Johnny Oduya (Oh Do ya?): Does anyone hear this name and not picture the UNLV mascot drunkenly challenging someone to like a duel or something? This name has cowboy lingo written all over it. This could completely just be me and if it is whatever I don’t care. But I can’t help but picture Yosemite Sam-ish dudes carryin XXX jugs of whiskey and challenging sherriffs and shit just yellin OH DO YA?